Reflections from the Heart of a Papa

A lifetime isn't enough to love you...

When I was a child I would have never imagined that I'd be right here, right now with you. You are an unexpected gift that I never even knew that I had. In fact, at times I truly believed you were the exact opposite. I just didn't know how to reconcile you with my own heart and I was also to overly concerned with my own selfish pursuits that I almost missed out on everything that I now deeply cherish. You've been hope in my darkest hours, drive and purpose when I wanted to quit, you were part of the glue that held our family together and you never even knew it. When I was dead set on running, it was you that pulled me back with just a simple gaze. How could I leave you? Where could I escape from the thought of you? No where. I've been smitten by your joy and your gentle smiles. You've brought me joy in the most remarkable way through the most curious process. Yes, most curious. You were ever so gracious when I treated you poorly or unfairly. Only ever coming back to me with love. And I have to admit, I truly was unfair at times because of my own personal anger issues. Something that you didn't have anything to do with but suffered the consequences of. I know now that It's my choice whether or not to be that man again, but I'm so sorry for being so tough on you sometimes. My heart was that I wanted the best for you, but the way I went about it was poorly executed. I would've done better just loving you and meeting your heart right where it was at.

I see that now and thank God for you daily and often more than that. But see, in order to give unconditional love, you must first understand it. You need to receive and accept it in some way before you can even think about giving it away. It must become experiential knowledge in your heart. It truly is a gift...I just never had been able to truly accept it. So I simply didn't know how to give it to you. But now I do and I will. I promise to spend the rest of my life dedicated to helping you experience a relentless, unconditional love that has no strings and no boundaries. If this is the only thing that you ever gain, you will have more life than you are capable of imagining.

Our future is filled with hope and purpose. Greatness and adventure are knocking at our doorstep! Awaiting our companionship! They have chosen us because we have chosen love. I'm inviting them in without putting any pressure on you to do anything. I just want you to see and to experience the the most of what life has to offer. And whatever that looks like, and at whatever pace, we will always look for the love in it. It's always the key to a level of happiness and satisfaction that most people only ever dream about. So I ask, could you be love, and be loved? For in that lies true freedom, success, greatness, favor, rest, and most of all... deep satisfaction in life itself. The kind where there isn't an ounce of worry to be found for miles around. It's exciting to me that we get to spend the rest of our lives getting to know each other. Hopefully always as pals. But I promise that I'll never stop loving you. I am pleased with you, I am satisfied with you, I greatly approve of you, and I desperately love you dearly.

I've had the privilege to watch you as you've unwittingly created hope and unity. You lift everyone's spirits without even trying. It's just part of who you are. It just comes natural to you! WHO ARE YOU?! I love it! I don't know a single person who isn't touched by your presence! The joy you constantly display is addicting! I can't help but want to be around you. I don't know a single person who doesn't love you after they've met you! Every friend or family member I have has been touched by your spirit in some way or another for good. Because of you, people have come together from all over to support you and to spend their own resources simply to help you. I really am awestruck and dumbfounded that such a gift almost passed me by. It actually makes me laugh a little. Thankfully, God has given me favor and forgiven my foolishness.


I've never told you this, but for some time now you have become something to me that I never
expected you would become. All this time I've thought that I was supposed to be your hero.
But it turns out that you have become mine.
And for that I will ever be grateful.
So to you, my eldest son, Levi...you are my hero and I love you just the way you are.
Your surgery is in 6 days but fear not. For I will be with you the whole way.

Love, your dad. ❤